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SOC Analyst Position Description

Use the following position description as a baseline for your SOC analysts.

Job #: 123456

Job Description: Level One SOC Analyst (Entry Level, one hour of relevant work experience required.)

Location: Office locations include mud/laundry room, residential closet, and in front of TV for extensive sorting and matching operations. This is an onsite role and is not available for remote work.

Duties and Responsibilities:

Primary duties include:

  1. Matching by color, fabric, size, and likely gender norm for further processing.
  2. Sub matching within like groups in order to best correlate and subjugate individual units for proper alignment into a paired classification model.
  3. Notification procedures to user consumers, as needed for item pick up. Delivery of paired items to user appropriate storage locations, as needed. Occasional basketing operations may be required.
  4. Occasional unit retrieval from floor locations so that units can be matched, paired and then further sanitized and returned to original user.
  5. SOC vortex monitoring in order to minimize individual units from being deposited in inaccessible remote locations.  Individual team members who excel in this area may receive a spot bonus as vortex consumption and unexplainable unit relocation  is seen as a financial drain on the home organization.

Secondary duties include:

  1. Monitor, defend and protect clothing management systems for excessive odor, loss, and storage locations for malicious insect traffic.
  2. Monitor, defend, and protect SOC users from mismatches, pulls, shrinkage, or color mismatches that can present subsequent clothing mismatches within subsequent outfit patterns.
  3. Performing network analysis of egress and ingress traffic to SOC vortexes, which are most closely associated with home dryers.
  4. Inspect and monitor related footwear items in order to provide further corrective action plans, such as incorporating Odor Eaters or similar brands that prevent humans from experiencing nasal distress.
  5. Critical incident triage resulting from mismatch, match pair loss, excessive wear. Activating replacement processes when objects pass clipping levels for acceptable use within the organization. Note that acceptable clipping levels are end customer specific and often subject to change based on stress levels in the moment.
  6. Conduct initial triage, containment, categorization, and escalation for suspicious events and incidents, such as colored items accidentally being added to washing systems. Activate critical incident response flows if red items are intermixed with white items and bleach is found to be present in the environment.
  7. Critical incident response is also required occasionally when minors are involved and found missing certain data elements necessary for social acceptance at intuitions of learning to prevent peer pressure from damaging minors (background check is required for this aspect of the role).
  8. Based on future regulatory considerations, a noxious odor HazMat DoT certification may be required. Should need arise, the organization will fund training and certification.
  9. Provide item mismatch and rematch response activities as necessary, with occasional furniture search and diving required for SOC recovery practices.

Advancement Potential

For those who qualify, they may receive a promotion to Level Two where darning is the primary skill added to the role.
Our SOC analysts have often gone on to other exciting roles such as sports team laundry staff, coin operated laundry mat operations, and merchandising operations in lucrative retail organizations.

Develop Incident Response Threat Package – Ad hoc per incident

Work with the CPSO (Chief Parental Security Officer) to maintain SOC SOP and Concept of Operations
Resources shall be required to comply with all applicable laws, regulations, policies, standards and guidelines affecting Information Technology projects, which may be created or changed periodically.
Resources will provide services 24x7x365, as defined and managed by the State of Home Operations.
All documents, tools, processes, and source code developed as part of this work order is the exclusive property of the Home Operating Unit


All SOC Analysts report to the Chief Laundry Fairy. 

Organizational Responsibilities

Provide office space and equipment (workstations, phone, badge, etc.) required to perform required duties, which includes 7/24/265 washer, dryer, sewing, and other laundry facilities as required to safeguard SOC operations.

Provide any required process documentation and workflow based on prior work performed by the Home Operations  support team, as appropriate and reasonable.

Allergy Notice

Due to some subjects being made of wool, wool blends, and certain other natural hair fabric components, PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) may be required for some washing, sorting, delivery, and storage tasks.

Occasional noxious odors may be experienced from certain types of SOC consumers. Note that teenage male SOC consumers often have a high degree of offensive odors, so applicants should take their personal constitution, resistance to fumes, and susceptibility to nausea and vomiting  into account when applying  your paragraph here.